i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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