yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sorry about my life...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
