i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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