I wish my penis had an off switch
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize