after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
