her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just had sex bonerless
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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