so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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