Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together