You can't motorboat a personality
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
