So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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