Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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