True but thats because hes a fetus.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
