This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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