I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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