how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do herpes really smell.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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