He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."