Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.