singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
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I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?