I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
