He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
