My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He did a backflip because drugs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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