One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Enjoy the penises
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
