I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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