nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
