Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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