Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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