I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
