who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize