how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
