Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
