there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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