Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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