Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.