Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.