I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
