Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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