Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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