He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
