can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
