So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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