My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
