Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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