I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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