Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
