I look better un-naked...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Even my vagina gasped.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
