just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
