Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
