You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Mom said you looked used
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
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I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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