Well douche your snatch and let's go!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
