i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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