she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.