and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was like giving head to a cactus.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..