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• (206): View more from Washington

  i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

  (425): View more from Washington

  for sure. did you let him do it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  thats not the point.

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• (310): View more from California

  totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

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• (408): View more from California

  You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.

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• (619): View more from California

  I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.

  (1-619): View more from California

  Very innocently.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  eyebrows regrow, your balls dont

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat

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