oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.