Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I didn't shave. On purpose

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  (704): I didn't shave. On purpose http://tfl.nu/ll6a
  Replies (11) Good night (715) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

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  (972): I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that. http://tfl.nu/304s
  Replies (89) Good night (14059) Bad night (1283)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

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  (203): New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah http://tfl.nu/j6rb
  Replies (13) Good night (3326) Bad night (933)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life

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  (617): Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life http://tfl.nu/020c
  Replies (11) Good night (1164) Bad night (4359)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

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  (817): I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve. http://tfl.nu/17gc
  Replies (12) Good night (8222) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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  (608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr
  Replies (17) Good night (1211) Bad night (2835)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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  (603): Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone. http://tfl.nu/7k4a
  Replies (12) Good night (1130) Bad night (2537)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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  (414): Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night. http://tfl.nu/g1a2
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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  (289): Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food. http://tfl.nu/bfcw
  Replies (8) Good night (3549) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (696): View more from

  Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?

  (451): View more from

  Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes

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  (696): Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right? (451): Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes http://tfl.nu/39ll
  Replies (7) Good night (2106) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.

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  (575): Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut. http://tfl.nu/7s27
  Replies (8) Good night (911) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.

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  (425): THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES. http://tfl.nu/y1ns
  Replies (9) Good night (1024) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused

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  (940): I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused http://tfl.nu/s5e1
  Replies (2) Good night (1058) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.

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  (847): How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text. http://tfl.nu/b9ph
  Replies (15) Good night (651) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.

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  (864): He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal. http://tfl.nu/lm83
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (484)

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