Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
