i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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