Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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