im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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