something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
tell me about the fingering
Randomize