im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
