Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
