Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Can Purell be used as lube?

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(707): View more from California

he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?

(1-707): View more from California

logic in its finest

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(845): View more from New York

He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love

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(760): View more from California

Why is your vibrator in the fridge?

(1-760): View more from California

I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

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(714): View more from California

Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I think he's speaking German to me now

(519): View more from Ontario

Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.

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(254): View more from Texas

Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap

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