Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
